Lessons I've Learned as a Ranch Mom
By Jennifer Hill
Twelve, shoot almost thirteen, years ago, when I first became a Mom I had no idea what I was in for. Sure, I’d raised my fair share of bottle calves, pups and whatever other needy animal showed up, but raising cowkids surrounded by thousands of acres of range definitely taught me a few unexpected lessons.
1. Be prepared and pack like it’s the Armageddon. Every ranch wife has been asked to go out for a quick trip to check the cows, or a swift ride to gather just that small bunch in the back pasture, only to wind up spending the next 12 hours fighting with cows and wondering if that beef she left on the counter to thaw has spoiled yet. But once kids were added to the picture these unexpected long days became a bit trickier. I quickly learned that any venture out of the house (no matter how fast it was promised to be) requires the speedy gathering of approximately five pounds of shelf stable snacks (because these kids never stop eating!), a full bag of diapers, and a change of clothes for everyone involved.
2. Potty training is easier when you spend all day outside and everything is a toilet.
3. Have different rules for school. When my kids reached school age we knew that they would be a bit different from most of their peers. We didn’t live in an agricultural community at the time and I knew that most of their classmates and teachers would not have much insight into my kids’ life experiences. In an effort to prevent a catastrophic kindergarten year I prepared my kids with a few rules. 1. You have to use the bathroom. I don’t care if the bush on the playground is in the perfect spot, or that you’ve spent more time urinating on plants than in toilets. 2. Absolutely no corral language. Even if you’re playing wild cow round up at recess or the lunch room serves chicken every day for a week. 3. Don’t blame the town kids, they don’t know any better.
4. Having the dreaded ‘’Birds and the Bees” conversation is much easier with livestock kids. In fact, we really never really had to have much of a conversation about it, they just know the facts because they see the life cycle in action every year. However, my own kids’ acceptance of the facts of life doesn’t mean their school friends are prepared for the info. A few years ago I was left to do some explaining after my then ten-year-old went to school and told everyone she’d looked at sperm under a microscope. You see, we’d just collected on a bull and the technician was nice enough to give her a lesson on what they were looking for. My science loving, veterinarian future dreaming daughter was thrilled, but her confused friends and teacher had some questions.
5. Letting your kids care for an orphaned animal can teach them some amazing life lessons, but be prepared for the consequences. As soon as my daughter was old enough to walk she wanted to mother every animal she encountered. Of course, this made her a natural fit to feed the bummer calves. One less chore for me, right? She quickly learned to prepare the bottle correctly and the importance of following through on your job. She even learned to consider the advice of her elders after I had repeatedly told her not to let that calf suck on her fingers and nonetheless she still came home with a bloody finger and tear stained face. But she wasn’t the only one to learn some lessons. I found that you can confidently prepare your young daughter for the annual calf sale but you should still expect public tears when that calf walks into the ring. I also learned to not be surprised to come home and discover that my house has been turned into a barn. While embarrassing to admit, I’d be a liar if I said I’d never found an orphaned baby goat wearing a diaper sitting in my living room.
6. If you’re ever caught in a bind, check a Ranch Mom’s coat. An inventory of any ranch mom’s work coat pockets would impress MacGyver himself. At any time my pockets can be found to contain: various lengths of hay string, (some braided, some not), Pop Tarts (with a questionable expiration date), knife, at least two pairs of gloves, a small toy for keeping young children entertained, Chapstick, pen, feed tags from the last decade or two, a handful of sweet pellets, another pen (because the first one stopped working months ago but who remembers to throw that stuff out?), sunscreen, a pile of tissues (in usable shape if you’re desperate), and enough small pieces of hay that if dumped together with the pellets would keep an nervous momma cow busy for a few minutes.
7. Farm and ranch kids really are the cream of the crop. In addition to my ranch duties I’ve also spent time as a public-school teacher and let me tell you, kids who come from farm and ranch homes truly are the best kids to work with. They’ve got a deeper understanding of responsibility and a stronger work ethic than most kids. They also enjoy the little things more and aren’t afraid to tackle something hard. However, they do find the concept of indoor recess on a frigid day to be absolutely ridiculous.